Aurora Magazine 2010

didn’t look forward to going home. It seemed like the more Ruby ignored Daddy’s advances, the more he drank. Mama would hurry to get supper done ‘cause if he got two drinks in him before supper, he got real mean. One night Mama had made fried squash, okra and corn. We had a big skillet of cornbread and some sliced tomatoes and green onions. I thought supper looked real good, but the whole time Mama had been cookin’, Daddy had been drinkin’. He came to the table with a sour look on his face, “Squash again? I didn’t expect steak or pork chops, but how about a damn meat loaf once in awhile?” Mama spoke carefully. “I’ll try to get some ground beef when we get paid.” I was holding my breath - waiting for Daddy to take a bite. Finally, he put a forkful of squash in his mouth and I let out my breath. Maybe it would be okay. Suddenly he cleared the table with one sweep of his arm. “That squash is greasy and salty! It ain’t fit to eat!” Platters and bowls crashed and broke and our dinner was all over the floor. “How do you expect a man to work all day without decent food to eat?” Mama looked as blank and lifeless as a department store mannequin. My heart was pounding and I was as mad as I was hungry. I knew better, but I spoke anyway, “That squash was fine. Mama is a good cook and she cooked this for us after she worked in the fields all day. And now, we’ll go to bed hungry, but that’s not Mama’s fault, it’s yours.” It was quiet as a tomb for a minute, then Daddy said, “You hungry, Pearl? You’re so fond of your Mama’s cookin’, go ahead and eat it.” I just sat there; I didn’t know what to do, and then he screamed, “I said for you to eat it!” I started to shake and cry, but I was not about to apologize for talking back to him. I knelt in the floor and I heard Mama say, “Leave her alone, Walter.” “I said eat it!” I started to pick up pieces of food from the floor. “No. Not like that. Don’t use your hands. Lick it up.” I was crying harder now and I could hear Mama crying, too and pleading for him to leave me be. I leaned over and put my face an inch from the floor, but I was crying too hard to try to eat. Just then, I felt his dusty boot on the back of my head, and as he ground my face into the floor, I felt blood gushing from my nose into the salty squash, and I heard my Mama scream. July 21 was my birthday. It was a work day, but Mama said supper would be real special. Daddy was already gone when we got up. “Reckon where Daddy is, Mama?” “I don’t know, Pearl. I reminded him about your birthday, could be he’s out lookin’ for you a present.” I thought it was highly unlikely. It was the hottest day of the year. The morning passed as usual except that Daddy never did show up. Ruby gave me a bracelet that she made herself and Aunt Edna gave me a whole package of hair ribbons that looked like fuzzy ropes – all different colors. She wanted me to tie one around my ponytail right then but I didn’t want to get them dirty. By afternoon, it was so hot that we couldn’t even entice Ruby to sing. The sun bored into the tops of our heads and burned our backs. I fought sweat bees and red ants, and the taste of dust on my tongue made me long for a dipper of cold water. When I finally got to the end of the row, Mama was weighing in. “Mama, it’s so dang hot!” “I know, Baby. Get you a dipper of water.” “I will. I’ve had a lot of water, though. I need to pee.” Mama laughed. “I’ll go with you. I could use a break.” We walked the length of the rows toward the corn, too hot and tired to talk. The rows of cotton and corn met in a 45 degree angle and in the little triangle between was a plush patch of lush grass with a half-dozen winter apple trees, nourished at the end of the one waterway. Mama said she’d wait at the end of the row and I went on into the corn field for privacy. It was even hotter

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