Aurora Magazine 2011

Get Dressed Virginia Unverzagt, MAPT Director

“Joy, you’ve got to get up and dressed, the school bus will be here in twenty minutes. It’s ten below with a wind chill factor of minus twenty. Put on these warm pants and this turtle neck.” Joy insisted on the flowery dress, and a whilry-twirly one at that; I required the warmer choice. After all, it was a mother’s duty to ensure her child’s protection against the elements. A few go-arounds later, we compromised by her wearing it all. Everyday the same meltdown/struggle ensued: my laying out a set of practical clothes to suit the weather, Joy insisting on her alternate choice of a pretty dress. I consulted with her classroom teacher who suggested a behavior modification approach. We tried rewards, charting, forced choice. No luck. I talked to other parents in her class, but no tried-and-true plan seemed to work. I read self-help books by child psychologists. Nada. No amount of discussion, deliberation or consultation with experts netted my hoped-for outcome: to get Joy dressed without incident. Yet on summer days that called for a sundress, or formal occasions that allowed for a “princess” type dress, there were no problems. I could not figure it out. One morning, after months of exasperation, I held Joy by her shoulders, looked her straight in the eye, and said through clenched teeth, “Why is getting you dressed so hard?” She looked at me sweetly and said, “It’s not hard, mommy, all you have to do is ask me to get pants-ed or get skirt-ed. You always tell me to get dressed.”

I’ve learned to be very careful in my speech.

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