Aurora Magazine 2019

million cups the next day? On a scale of one to ten cups of coffee, one being “oh shit I’m tired” and ten being “fucking kill me now if I don’t get another cup,” how should we rate stimuli to effective quantity of coffee? Consider this: Coffee Consumption: A User’s Guide When in doubt, gauge your symptoms using these generic exam - ples.

#1 Morning at church: 1 cup #2 A day of yard work: 2 cups #3 Hung over: 3 cups #4 Big presentation: 4 cups #5 Lunch date with mother-in-law: 5 cups #6 Election year: 6 cups #7 Attending a funeral: 7 cups #8 Going through a divorce: 8 cups #9 Raising kids: 9 cups #10 Terrorist attack: 10 cups

As I now sit and drink my fresh, hot joe (real cream, none of the powdered crap), I am satisfied with these ratios and settle on number six. Good for me.

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