Aurora Magazine 2019

to take vacation and get as far away as possible. July 2018

Two weeks later, I am back and walk into the lab. I stop in my tracks. He is staring at me accusingly. My breath is taken away as I relive the scene. His one eye is dark like the barrel of the gun. I see his expression just before the gun fired and I must remind myself it isn’t really him. I get closer and stare into his vacant eyes. I run my fingers through his hair one more time. I resist the urge to place my lips against his cold clay lips. Too close, way too close to the real thing. Danger once again casts its shadow. In October, Pat and I are to appear on the local news station profiling cold case files. They will display his bust to the world and ask for information. What happens when someone recog - nizes him? What happens if someone connects him to me? Even worse, what happens when the local sheriff realizes there has been no police report filed for his death? Did I hide my guilt well enough in the paperwork last June? Perhaps all will be revealed and my role in the cover-up will come to light. What will I do? Would anyone believe me now? My grandmother always liked to say there are two versions of Southern advice to choose from when a person can’t decide. You can be Rhett Butler and frankly, don’t give a damn or you can be Scarlett O’Hare and think about it tomorrow. Today, I go with Scarlet and return to my Tara to sit on the porch with Tank at my feet. I will stare into the mist rising from the river and wait for tomorrow.

32