Aurora Magazine 2019

she’ll never know.

He wanted to sit down in the grass, but stood; his throat was dry, but his curiosity was starving. The woman gave up on the turkey, who had shunned her, and he was certain that in some way it recognized remorsefully that to get the bread would mean interacting with the hand of cynicism. Do birds think so deeply? He imagined they did. The woman kept her offering, replacing it inside a worn tote used for the park. He’d seen her with it before; last week the woman had tried to hand-feed some robins and a cardinal, but again, was rejected. The stinginess of her refusal to spread pieces on the ground for the wild creatures incited a deep hatred for her, and that day he’d spent watching her for several hours were filled with images of atrocities committed against her in the secret places of the woods. At dusk, families drove away in their cars, runners returned to their homes for dinner or long recuperative bathing, and he was alone with her. He imagined the feel of her hands in his, the arthritic nodes paving a trail for his fingers along her bones. He reached out in the shadow of the sycamore to guide the imprint of her minty breath on the wind to his nose, the odor of it inciting his hunger. She had Altoids in her tote, he’d seen them last week. This evening her dress clung to her knees like the children she hated, legs livered and bare. She veiled her weakening hair in a rayon scarf; he didn’t care for the crimson and violet flowers that draped her head like a crown she didn’t deserve. Dear Mother, her daughter had written a week ago, For - give us for staying home, you know how busy we are at the holi - days. Maybe next year we can travel, but right now the baby can’t be in the car that long. You should see her! She’s trying to crawl, and we’ve had to rehome the cat because she won’t stop pulling its tail and scooting toward the food! What’s next, the litter?! Imagine that! Anyway, I hope you like the scarf, I know how you love roses. He couldn’t imagine anyone falling in love with her,

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