Aurora Magazine 2019

The First Step of Being Human

Karen Muñoz

I’d been struggling to stay awake as I waited, trying to remember the last time I felt fully-rested and well enough to feel human and alive. The attempt had been in vain. Instead, I took in the moti - vational posters or paintings that lined the wall, because there wasn’t much else to look at in the small room with honey-colored walls. My eyes had just been about to close when there was knock on the door, before it opened. I watched as a man with a lab coat walked into the room, folder in hand. He was a bit older - flecks of gray peppered his hair and his eyes crinkled when he smiled - but he’d always been a kind man as long as I’d known him, and he knew enough about his line of work to understand and help those who sought his professional opinion. He reached his hand out to shake mine and asked the question I didn’t know how to answer – at least not in the way that would genuinely help me figure out why I was feeling this way. He’d asked, “How’re you doing today? How’ve you been doing?” A moment of silence followed. Then two, before I re - sponded back with “I’m tired. I’ve been nothing short of exhaust - ed for a while.” He clicks his pen and begins to write in his folder. He turns to me then. “So, what brings you in to see me today?” “That’s just it. I’ve been feeling exhausted and fatigued every day. I wake up in the morning and I almost don’t get out of bed, because my body aches and I feel like I haven’t slept in days. I get at least an average of six hours each night, but I wake up and I feel worse than I did the day before. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt well-rested and able to make it through the day without feeling like I need a nap to be able to survive the rest of the day. My energy levels have been way down. My roommate even said that I’ve been looking paler and paler as the semester

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