Aurora 2024

Aliyah Orten

and quiet the voices. It feels like everyone could hear the screaming voices while they read. I worry that they lose concentration. When I have those sick-to-my-stomach moments, simply working on an assignment, I begin to feel the overwhelming scatter throughout my body like multiple hearts are beating in my single chest. I begin to think, “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why can I not breathe normally?” I need to get out of this room, and ground myself, but how do I do that? 15 My stomach pains never ease. People keep saying that now is not the moment to make mistakes, to not make excuses, or it will greatly affect my future. “Tough it out,” they say as my stomach knots almost daily in pain. I find techniques to survive, but the pain never leaves.

Nurses’ office trips have become a rarity. If I feel bad enough to go home, I reach out to my mom myself.

For an entire school year, my English teacher gives all her students two passes to leave her classroom. One day, my pain pulls me into an all-consuming discomfort. One that makes me completely pause my assignment and feel my heartbeat in my ears, my body temperature to rise but also drop, and even my vision feels different.

Later in high school, having a solid group of friends,

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